Despite all our assumptions about the French, they might have a better understanding of how to raise children than we do in the U.S.

In politics, the French are often stereotyped as arrogant, unreliable and rude. They supposedly don't like anyone who is not French, and that means they don't like Americans. In reality, we could learn something from French parents.

Pamela Druckerman, an American author and mother of three, lived in France and found her self "struggling to control her toddler in a posh restaurant while small French children around her sat still, ate with cutlery and left their parents to chat calmly to each other." How many meals have you had with young kids with the only strategy beign to scarf your food down quickly before the little ones have a meltdown?

While Druckerman's flat in Paris was overrun by toys that were meant to occupy her children so she could get something done during the day, French moms seemed to have tidy homes with no baskets of books and buckets of blocks. Meals were different too. Druckerman's children ate the usual mac and cheese and finger foods, while French children were trying hearts of palm and tomato salad.

Something was obviously different between American and French parents. But what? Her book, "Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting ," out Tuesday, explores the differences between parents over there and here.

Photo: Screen grab from WSJ video of Druckerman talking about French parenting.

She found the French teach their children to be patient. Babies are not picked up when they start to cry. They're expected to wait until parents have finished a conversation before getting their attention. Many American parents think a "cry it out" approach is too mean, and might scar their children later in life. Druckerman says French babies she met slept through the night from two or three months old.

The French have a less child-centered approach, in which the adult’s needs at least as important as those of the child, she says. Parenting is just one part of a French mother’s life, not something that's all-consuming. French parents are less likely to follow their toddlers' every steps around a park or playground. No one would mistake them for helicopter parents, hovering over their kids.

Druckerman also points out, the French have public services that help with raising children. Parents there don't have to pay for pre-school, worry about health insurance or save for college. Many get monthly cash allotments wired directly into their bank accounts just for having kids.

The early buzz about how the French raise their children, is reminiscent of the "Tiger Mom" craze from a year ago when author Amy Chua described her strict parenting technique in "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." While she was criticized for calling her daughters names, placing a high priority on grades, and not letting the girls socialize, Chua told the Ross and Burbank show that book wasn't meant as a "how to guide" for parenting.

By Linda Thomas

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